AND THE CATS
by Fallen Emo Angel
Summary: The union of Graeme and Markku is a lovely occasion. Or is it? ITT is proud to present AND THE CATS another story from the minds of Ashlyn and Lexie.
1. Chapter 1

AND THE CATS

It was a warm, lovely spring day. The kind of day where children would play on swings, and dictators would take naps in their laboratories, instead of "pushing the button", right Kim Jong-Un? That's right, we knew what you were doing last night... On this beautiful day, a very skinny blonde boy stood next to his slightly more muscular fiance.

"Markku darling, would you look at that! It's the perfect place for our wedding fountain!", boomed the bassy voice of the skinny one. Markku chuckled, his accent making his fiance swoon.

"Indeed, Graeme.", he said sliding a hand down and cupping Graeme's flat bum. Graeme jumped and giggled. Markku's cat appeared between his legs and wove figure 8s around his feet. Graeme stared at it, his face masking his jealousy. Damn cat. Always taking his man away.

"So can I help the set-up people?", Graeme asked, eyes wide in girlish delight.

"Of course, my pretty pretty princess.", his fiance said, giving Graeme's butt a squeeze. He giggled and ran off, yelling at the wedding planner, who neither recognized. The planner's assisstant, a short woman with waist-length brown hair, stood next to her, nodding and sneaking furtive glances over at his cat. The taller woman, her cocoa skin shining in the sun, took careful note of Graeme's directions.

"-kay so that covers the flowers and the color scheme. If we go dress shopping tomorrow I can kind of coordinate the fabrics. Ashlyn, can you handle ordering these, and then go with me to the dress shop?"

Ashlyn, as previously named, the assisstant, stared at the cat, eyes wide.

"Ashlyn. Ashlyn!" The planner looked over and jabbed her in the side. "Bitch, I will cut you if you screw up this wedding."

"Oh! Oh sorry!", she said, blushing. Markku laughed and whistled. The cat looked up, and followed him over to the group. Ashlyn fidgeted, her gaze trained on the cat again as she walked over to a part of the field where she could make an undisturbed call. The cat followed her stealthily, out of her notice. She ordered the flowers, white roses and some sort of blue flower. She hung up on her iPhone 10, then sat down under a tree, picking a ripe blackberry from a nearby bush. Before she could eat it though, the cat appeared and swiped at her hand. She squeaked, then whimpered at the deep gash in her hand. She put it up to her mouth and sucked on the wound, eyes wide. The cat stared at the berry in her hand. She held her palm out flat, the berry in it. It stared at it, then swiped the berry, making a smaller, less deep cut and taking it out of her mouth. Biting down on it, the cat scampered off, after licking the juice off her hand. She followed it back to the group.

"The flowers are set to arrive in three days.", she said, a smile on her face.

"DK what'd you do, why are you bleeding?", the planner asked.

"Don't worry Lexie! I cut my hand on a berry bush.", she smiled. Lexie made a small 'hmph' sound.

"Good job.", she said. She made plans to go to the dress shop with Graeme the next day. Markku wasn't invited, but Ashlyn was to go with the pair.


	2. Chapter 2

AND THE CATS

Chapter 2

The next morning, Lexie and Ashlyn waited impatiently at the dress shop. Graeme was late, by at least an hour, and Lexie was furious.

"If he doesn't get his ass through this door in the next half an hour he'll be lucky to get a custom cake!", she spat, pacing. Ashlyn glanced at her, then looked down at her wounds.

"Well... Why don't you let me go and get the cake? I can show them the sample of custom patterns you've designed for the color scheme.", she offered. Lexie sighed and nodded, right as Graeme danced through the door.

"Hello!", he beamed, alighting in the dresses hanging around them. Ashlyn cocked her head curiously. She was studying to be a planner but if THIS was what she had to deal with maybe she'd be better off in educational studies.

"Be a wedding planner, they said! It'll be FUN, they said!", she spat as soon as she was out of earshot, walking downtown to the cake shop. She walked in the door and inhaled the heavenly scent, her nerves instantly eased. She walked up to the counter.

"Hello." The woman behind the counter was sunny and had spiky hair, sticking up every which way, giving her a rather whimsical, mischeivous look.

"Hi. I'm here on behalf of 'Wedding Butts', a special organization for male homosexual weddings. Your shop came highly recommended from our sister group, 'Honeys Moon'." Ashlyn stuck her hand out to shake.

"Oh yes! We are proud sponsors for your organization! I'm Kristi, I'm the owner of this particular shop." They shook hands.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Ashlyn." They set about to business. Ashlyn didn't like the sketches Lexie had made though. They were all so... White. She pouted, then pulled a piece of paper out and designed her own sketch. Her cake had two grooms on the top, free, complimentary of the organization, but she added a little cat next to one's feet. Then, she took the all white cake and added blue stripes to it. To top it off, she put two, tiny, Finnish-and-British flags on top.

"It's perfect!", she beamed. She showed Kristi the designs and she agreed she'd come get the fresh cake on the day of the wedding, which was scheduled for three days after this.

Later, as she re-entered the dress shop, a very frazzled Lexie was sitting down, surrounded by two dozen breathtaking dresses.

"What happened?", she asked, looking at the mess, eyes wide.

"Graeme has been unable to find any dress in this whole shop.", Lexie said, with forced calm.

"Hm. What's been the problem?"

"He doesn't like any of the ones in his size!"

"Well, have you considered a size smaller? A bit tight, but with alterations, I'm sure it'll be fine." Ashlyn looked over in the next section. After pawing through for a minute, she found a snow-white, Renaissance style dress, with tight sleeves that ended in long cuffs, and a lace-up corset with your choice lace. She chose a nice blue. "I believe this one will do quite nicely." She shot Lexie a calm, self-satisfied smile. "The cake will also be made freshly the day of the wedding."

"...Damn. Why aren't you mine full-time, babe?" Lexie called everyone babe. It was an endearing quality.

"I'm still in training, though I suppose I could-"

"Did you find me a dress, Lexie?" Graeme interrupted, coming out in a ghastly, sleeveless contraption that was clearly designed for bigger boobs.

"Me and DK did, yeah."

"DK and I.", he corrected, before giving a giggle as he saw the dress. He all but snatched it and spun into the dressing room.

"Ten bucks says it don't fit.", Lexie said.

"You're on."

"I've never seen him so excited." Ashlyn and Lexie looked up. A tall, lanky, raven-haired man stood behind the counter.

"You know him?", Ashlyn asked, setting herself down on a stool near him.

"Of course. I dated the man for six months, silly."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"That's interesting. Did you like the dress?"

"I'd like it much better on the floor...", he muttered.

"Oh my god! Oh my god you still like him!", Ashlyn grinned.

"Well duh."

"What's your name?", Lexie interrupted.

"You can call me Mr. President."

"Not in my wedding planning." She grabbed a magazine from a nearby table and rolled it up.

"Fine. Drauken then.", he said, staring at the magazine. Ashlyn giggled, pouring herself a glass of champagne.

"Did he not recognize you?"

"Nah. Got a hair cut."

"Seems legit.", she replied, taking a sip. Lexie rolled her eyes.

Suddenly there's a bang from the dressing room.

"Graeme! Are you okay? Did you break your butt?", Lexie asked, as if breaking his butt would be the worst thing ever.

"No, I seem to have gotten stuck.", he replied. She shot Ashlyn a look. Ashlyn looked up innocently.

"You have experience in this field, not me!", she said, giving a sweet smile. If looks could kill, she'd be dead. Lexie got up and strode into the dressing room, and not a single fuck was given as of that minute. Five minutes later, Graeme and Lexie were out of the dressing room. Ashlyn squealed, clapping excitedly.

"OhmygodGraemeyoulooksoprettyandohmygod!", she exclaimed in one breath, throwing her arms around the skinny Brit. He grinned at her unsettlingly.

"I am a pretty princess.", he said in the deepest voice he could muster, which of course set her off laughing.

"White people!" Lexie shook her head in disbelief, throwing her hands in the air and exiting the shop. Ashlyn giggled and made the purchasing arrangements while Graeme changed and then they walked out after her. Lexie stopped a cab and they drove back to the apartment where Finny and Graeme were staying until after the wedding. Markku was on the couch, fast asleep and his cat was studying his hand, as if pondering whether to bite him. Graeme sat on the couch, stealthily pushing the cat away.

"Markku honey...", Graeme purred, poking his fiance in the side. The other man shot up and mumbled a few, incomprehensible Finnish words.

"Oh... Graeme... You're back...", he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. He stood up and pulled Graeme into a tight embrace. Graeme giggled and nuzzled into the Finn's chest. Ashlyn beamed, trying not to go all 'AWWWWW' but failing miserably.

"So the cake, dress, and flowers are accounted for, now we need to find a revenue and a DJ, or some sort of preset playlist."

"Let us handle the music.", Markku asked.

"Great, you do that!", Ashlyn smiled, then, after a quick glance at the cat, skipped out the door.

"White people...", Lexie uttered again, following her out.

"I like them!", Ashlyn said brughtly.

"They're cool, I guess.", Lexie replied noncommitally, running up prices in her head.

"Is it gonna be expensive? Graeme wants fountains and ice sculptures, he said, and then I was thinking about the lighting scheme."

"Well duh it's gonna be expensive. You don't even understand, like, weddings are pricey as fuck."

"Hmmm..." Ashlyn pondered this and to Lexie's relief, was quiet for the whole rest of the trip. She worked away the headache she'd gotten by occupying herself on her iPhone 11. She had a newer model than DK because she'd been in the business and DK was a recent graduate.

"Hey Mr. Dude, can you change the station?", DK piped up. The cap driver looked in the back. Lexie laughed. It was a woman, with long, wavy black hair and brown eyes.

"I think you mean Ms. Dude, but I guess.", she smiled. Ashlyn started a pleasant flow of chattering, which ended with the exchanging of numbers as they arrived at their destination.

"You realize you just gave a random taxi driver your number?", Lexie scoffed, shaking her head. _White people_.

"Yeah, why? Is that bad?" She looked confused.

"No, not at all. If you get murdered before the wedding can I have your car?"

"What?", she inquired, shaking her head as if to break a train of thought. "Her name's Pucca! She's sooooo nice and she said she was gonna give me a special reading of this thing called Homestuck!" She giggled, spinning around in a circle. She and Lexie walked into the hotel they were staying in because this was an away job. They each checked in, grabbed their room keys, and went to their rooms.


End file.
